gift guide: what to get ~him~
my boyfriend told me that all he wants for Xmas is "some peace and quiet," but here are a bunch of other things you could get your man (or possibly your dad)
Men are so FUCKING hard to gift shop for.
When I say “men,” I’m largely talking about the fairly traditional “straight dude” archetype. You know, the type that says, “the best gift would be no gift.” The type that—whether he has since evolved or not—has at some point paired navy blue sheets with a gray pillow case (and I mean “a” singular, because he only had one pillow). The type that hates extraneous “junk” and who, if they ever have mentioned wanting something, only wants either new socks or a Rolex.
These guys are impossible, simply because they typically aren’t ~material gworls~ like the rests of us are (or, at least, like I am).
Over the years, I’ve developed a philosophy that’s helped me succeed at solving this conundrum (other than listening when a guy tells you that he doesn’t want a gift), because presents aren’t actually about giving something what they want. Gifts are about indulging in the joys of late-stage capitalism! They’re about testing to see whether someone really knows you!! They’re about the wrapping paper!!!
It can be a real struggle to shop for these bozos, though. They really make it difficult.
What are you supposed to get them? If you try to mind-read, you end up flailing (and it’s exhausting). If you ask them, they brush you off. If you consult the “what to buy him” gift guides on GQ (etc), you end up depressed by all the weird, ugly, brown, leather gadgets that no one with a soul could ever imagine anyone wanting ever.
No, those approaches are futile.
Instead, my advice is: don’t think about what he already “wants.” Give him a gift that he either doesn’t know about or won’t buy because it feels over-indulgent. Due to ~the patriarchy~, men don’t often get to be pampered—by us or by themselves—so give him something that will either make him feel like a little prince or will improve his quality of life.
Easier said than done, I know, but below are a whole slew of things that I think fit the bill (and not just for the anti-gifters). I broke it down into 7 different categories to help you hone in on what’s best for your particular himbo <3
1. If he’s skincare-curious:
If your boyfriend has ever enjoyed a face mask with you (or you’ve noticed that he’s quickly been depleting your supply expensive moisturizers), why not take out the middle man (you/your goods) and get him some skincare products?
You can get him whatever combo of your favorite products, but I recommend going more in the “moisturizer” or “mask” direction than the “cleanser” or “chemical exfloliant” direction (the message should be, “I want you to enjoy taking care of yourself,” not, “it’s been fun picking at your skin, but enough is enough.”).
I love this moisturizer ($58) by Youth to the People, this serum ($28) by Frownies, this hydrating mask ($30) by Paula’s Choice and these sheet masks ($110) by SKII. If you do wanna go in the AHA/BHA, Drunk Elephant’s baby facial ($80) is delightful and feels more indulgent. Make sure he has a moisturizer to follow it up with, though, or he’ll flaking off onto you whilst you kiss.
2. If he likes to hang at home:
You know what’s nice? Lounging. You know what’s nicer? Lounging in loungewear. But fuck pajamas—that’s too much of a “dad” gift (unless you’re shopping for your dad, in which case this set works). For your boyfriend, nurture his dangerous side by going for a mobster staple: a bathrobe. But not one of those old gross gray/navy (what is with men and those heinous, cheap-looking colors?) bathrobes you’d see in a college dorm room. Sex it up a bit. Go a little fancy.
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